The Life of an Extraordinary High School Student

A short comedy about a high school boy who has an extraordinary family of extreme proportions.
As I stepped into the bright sunlight of the early summer afternoon, I could not have known what laid ahead of me. School had just ended and it was Friday. On my way home, I usually stop by the park to do my homework where it’s peaceful. If I try to do it at home my father will probably drag me out of my room and trough me in the pool. You’d think a father of five, with ages ranging from 33 to 17, would be more mature, but he’s a little crazy and childish. I should explain our family, or try to since I don’t really understand it myself.

My father is a retired grand master in martial arts of all sorts. My brothers are quite unique. Tristan is an artist that lives in the basement of an old abandoned building. He says it inspires him to be more organic, but personally I think he’s hiding from his ex- wives. My second brother, Kyle, is a little odd. He’s a circus freak. He thinks he’s a bat who has to save the world from butterflies. Seth is a little more normal. Okay, I lied. He is a knight that saves me from dangerous people. I think that’s just an excuse to follow me to school and check out the girls. Jayson is so scary that I think he can kill a tax collector with an eyebrow. I am a high school student who has been trained to be a deadly weapon.
I was sitting on the ridge above the playground, when my father attached me with his lethal chopsticks. I dodged his attach and he looked at me with such frustration that I thought he might pop his last brain cell. "You shall never win, young sapling!" he shouted.

Too late I realised that Seth had snuck up behind me and now had me in a chokehold. Kyle and Tristan were tickling me so hard I thought I’d evaporate. My father was laughing so hard that he fell off the ridge, bounced off the wall, landed on the jungle gym and fell to the ground. By the time he hit the ground we were laughing so hard the entire town could hear us, the police even came to investigate.

After that, my father and brothers took me home, if you can call being through over a shoulder taking a person home. My father put me down on the couch and sat down on the floor. He had such a perplexing look of concentration that I thought he was trying to lift me with his mind. "Alex, are you outgrowing me?" he asked. I laughed so hard that I fell off the couch. My father thought I was going crazy, so he called the mental institution. They actually showed up and they wanted to take my father away. Jayson arrived just as they were loading him in the van. He gave them one look and they scattered, literally. My father tried to get out of the stray jacket himself, he fell in the pond and a fish got into the stray jacket. He was hopping around so much that he looked like a jumping jack.

By the time we got him out of the jacket our stomach muscles had gotten a very good workout. "I suppose you think this was very funny?" my father asked. "Of course, seeing as this was all planned by yours truly", I replied. I will never forget how he reacted. "That was an excellent display of your mental capacity," He said. "Now you just need to learn sedulity!" We all laughed at that as we went inside.

I took a shower and strangely there were no bugs in the shower. They were in the shampoo bottle instead. Having earth worms make a nest in your hair isn’t exactly pleasant. When I finally got the worms out of my hair, I went downstairs to have supper with everyone. Turns out I had to take another shower since we had a food fight. This started went Jayson, of all people, dumped gravy on my head. I in turn trough salad in his face and then everyone started toughing food. This is how it usually is in our house. I don’t think we’d fit in anywhere else, anyway. The thing that makes it even more baffling is that we’re all adopted.