~ Cost of Feeding the Donkey ~

Nasreddin Hodja got poorer and poorer. He even had to economize on the donkey feed. He started to cut the amount of oat he gave to his donkey. After a few days, he noticed no big changes in the donkey, so he continued with his reduction program. Everyday he was giving a little less food to the animal.

The donkey was getting skinnier and skinnier, but so was the Hodja. These were tough times. Thus the hodja carried on, and the donkey had to subsist on smaller portions of feed each day. One morning, however, when the Hodja entered the barn, he found his donkey dead.

`Ahh, ahh, my poor donkey!' the Hodja wailed, `Just as he was getting used to hunger!

~ Big Spoon vs Small Spoon ~

One day the Hodja and a couple of other people were invited for dinner to an acquaintance's home. It was a hot summer evening. The host brought to the table a large bowl of ice-cold cherry compote. He took a spoon as big as a ladle for himself and gave his guests small, dessert spoons.

`Let's dig in!' he said. But nobody could dig in as well as he could. The guests, with their small spoons, were not very successful in either enjoying the compote or quenching their thirsts. The host, on the other hand, was drinking the cold juice with his large spoon and after each spoon he was expressing his delight.

`Ahh, this is killing me!', he was saying, `Ahh, I must have died and went to heaven. Oh, this is so good, I am dying.' Nasreddin Hodja was not one to allow all the compote disappear before he had a chance to savour it.

`Effendi, why don't you give us that ladle so that we can die a little too!'

~ Donkey on Fire ~

One day the Hodja collected sprigs and twigs in the woods and tied them into a

bundle. He was going to use them as fire wood in his home. After he finished loading

his donkey, he started to doubt if these useless branches were going to burn well. He

decided to try, just a tiny corner of the bundle on the donkey's back. But as soon as

he lit the match, the sprigs caught fire and with the help of the blowing wind, the

entire batch started to burn on the back of the poor donkey. The unfortunate

animal, frightened, started to run away. Nasreddin Hodja, feeling terribly guilty,

thought he should give the pitiable creature a little advice.

`If I were you,' he yelled from behind, `I would run towards the lake.'

~ Gift Rabbit ~

A few people from another village, mere acquaintances of Nasreddin Hodja, were in Aksehir for some trade business. At the end of the day, they knocked on Hodja's door.
`Hodja Effendi, since we were in town, we thought we should pay you a little visit. And, here is a rabbit as a token of our respect for you.'

Hodja welcomed the guests as is the Turkish tradition and asked them to stay for dinner. Hodja's wife cooked the rabbit and they all made a good meal of it. A few days later, there were people at the door again. Hodja didn't know who they were, so they had to introduce themselves.

`Nasreddin Hodja, we are the relatives of the folks who brought you the rabbit.' they explained. They were passing through Aksehir and they thought they drop by. Nasreddin Hodja and his wife opened their home to them as well. They served soup for dinner.

`It is the broth of the rabbit.' elucidated the Hodja.

Another couple of days passed and there was yet another group of strangers at Hodja's door.

`We come from the neighbour village of the people who brought you the rabbit.' they said. Hodja had no choice but to let them in. When it was dinner time, Hodja brought a large pot full of well water to the table.

`What is this, Hodja Effendi?' inquired the displeased guests.

`It is the broth of the broth of the rabbit.' Hodja snapped.

~ Watermelon vs Walnut ~

One day Nasreddin Hodja was working in his little watermelon patch. When he stopped for a break, he sat under a walnut tree and pondered.

`You Sublime Allah,' he said, `it's your business, but why would you grow huge watermelons on weak branches of a vine, and house little walnuts on a strong and mighty tree?' And as he contemplated such, one walnut fell from the tree right onto his head.

`Great Allah,' he said as he massaged his bruised head, `now I understand why you didn't find the watermelons suitable for the tree. I would have been killed if you had my mind.'

~ Helva Blues ~

One day Nasreddin Hodja felt like eating helva. He would have made some but there was no butter, no sugar and no flour at home. The larder was empty, his stomach was empty and his pockets were empty. He was being tormented with the dream of a huge plate full of helva and he was getting hungrier and hungrier. Finally, he decided to walk down the road to the grocery store.

`Do you have flour?' he asked the grocer.

`I certainly do, Hodja Effendi.'

`Do you have sugar?'

`Yes, I do.'

`Do you have butter?'

`Yes, Hodja Effendi.'

`So then, what's holding you back, my friend? Make yourself a good pot of helva and eat it!'

~ Pivotal Point ~

One idle day, the villagers were contemplating philosophical thoughts and deliberating the mysteries of the universe. Since they weren't getting anywhere with their reflections, they decided to solicit the wisdom of Nasreddin Hodja.

`Hodja Effendi,' they said, `you are a learned man, maybe you can shed a light on this puzzle. Where is the centre of the earth?' Nasreddin Hodja didn't skip a beat.

`Right under the left front foot of my donkey.' he said.

`Hodja Effendi,' protested the villagers, `that can't be right!'

`If you don't believe me,' said The Hodja, `measure it for yourself!'

~ Cauldron ~

Nasreddin Hodja had borrowed a cauldron from his neighbour. When he didn't return it for a long time, the neighbour came knocking on the door.

`Hodja Effendi, if you are finished with the cauldron could I take it back? The wife needs it today.'

`Ah, of course,' Hodja said, `just wait here a minute and I'll fetch it.'
When Hodja came back to the door with the cauldron, the neighbour noticed that there was a small pot in it.

`What is this?'

`Well, neighbour, congratulations, your cauldron gave birth to a baby pot.' said the Hodja.

The neighbour, incredulous, yet delighted, thanked the Hodja, took his cauldron and the new little pot, and went home.

A few weeks after this incident, one day The Hodja came again, asking to borrow the cauldron. The neighbour didn't even hesitate and lent Hodja the cauldron with pleasure. However, once more it was taking the Hodja forever to return it back. The neighbour had no choice but to go asking for it again.

`Hodja Effendi, are you done with the cauldron?'

`Ahh neighbour, ahh' bemoaned The Hodja, `I am afraid your cauldron is dead.'

`Hodja Effendi, that's not possible, a cauldron cannot die!' exclaimed the disbelieving neighbour. But Nasreddin Hodja had his answer ready.

`My dear fellow, you can believe that it can give birth, why can't you believe that it can also die?'

~ On the Roof ~

Nasreddin Hodja's old house had a leaking roof. One day the Hodja decided to fix it. He borrowed a ladder and with great difficulty climbed up to the roof. Just as he was setting off to work, he heard a knock on the door. He looked down from the edge of the roof and saw a stranger in front of his door.
`I am up here.' Hodja shouted. When the man looked up, `What is it that you want?' he asked him.

`Please come down,' replied the man, `I have something to say to you.'
Hodja precariously descended down the old ladder. Once on the ground he again asked the man what he wanted.

`Alms,' said the man, `could you spare some alms.'

Hodja thought for a second and then told the man to come up to the roof with him. Hodja in front, the beggar behind him, both running short on breath, climbed up the ladder. Once on the roof top, Hodja turned to the man and said: `I don't have any.'

~ Bread and Yogurt ~

One day the Hodja had 10 para to buy himself lunch with. He first went into the bakery, handed 5 para over to the baker and asked for a bread. As the baker gave Hodja the bread he asked for his money.
`I just paid you' Hodja said.

`No, you didn't pay me.' the baker insisted, `I didn't see any money.' After a few minutes of debate, not being able to convince the bully baker, Hodja had to give in. He took out his other 5 para and gave it to him.
Left with no money at all, Hodja next entered the grocery store. He asked for a jar of yogurt. When the grocer asked for his money, Hodja claimed that he had just given him a 5 para. The good natured grocer had been a little preoccupied all morning, so he easily believed that he must have indeed taken the money and forgotten it.

Hodja took his provisions and sat under a tree. Before starting to eat his lunch, he raised his head towards the sky and said `Sublime Allah, You know what really happened, You take the 5 para from one and give it to the other.'

~ Delicious Stew ~

One day Nasreddin Hodja bought 2 kilograms of meat from the neighborhood butcher. He brought the meat home and asked his wife to cook a real nice stew for dinner. Thus secured the evening meal, he happily headed off to his field to work.
Hodja's wife did cook the stew but about lunch time a few of her friends and relatives came over for a visit. Having nothing else to serve to her guests, she served the stew. They all ate heartily and finished it all.
Hodja came home after a long day's work and asked his wife if the stew was ready.
`Ahh, ahh! You have no idea what befell the stew.' his wife said, `The cat ate it all.'

Nasreddin Hodja, suspicious, looked around and saw the scrawny little cat in one corner, looking as hungry as himself. Hodja grabbed the cat and weighed him on his pair of scales. The poor thing weighed exactly two kilos.
`Woman,' said the Hodja, `if this is the cat, where is the stew? If this is the stew, then where is the cat?'