The Odd Short Story

A lost piece of literature I dug up. This was written a long time ago, and never saw the light of day. Don't expect anything typical.

CRASH! I looked out my window to see an evil clown purloining my tricycle! I ran outside to try and stop him, but I slipped on a sumptuous-looking pie. I watched as he escaped with my only means of transportation.

Later that day I saw a news story about an evil clown that covets tricycles and hijacks them. I was shocked, but then I knew what he was up to. So I decided to set up a ploy by my friend's house, who also owned a tricycle.

I hid in the bush and waited for the clown. I hoped my stratagem would work on him. Even if it didn't work, I had a backup plan to barter with him to get my tricycle back. Suddenly I heard someone tapping on a window. I looked up to see the clown inside my friend's house, sassily sticking his tongue out at me. Then I realized that I hid in my friend's back yard! I rushed out front, but when I got there the window was broken and the tricycle was nowhere to be found! My plan was in vain. I should have tried something bigger than a mousetrap.

Later that day the clown was reportedly still at large and still hijacking tricycles. He had to be stopped. But I needed someone to help me out. A benefactor of sorts. I decided that my friend would be the best person to help me stop this fiend. Besides, he's very savvy with undercover business. I'm not sure why, though.
Our first stop on our investigation was Detective Hankleston's office. When we arrived the secretary was waiting for us.
"Hello. How may I help you?" she asked.

"Yes, we're here to see Detective Hankleston," I said.
"I'm sorry, he's far to busy right now."
I looked around the room. There were several pictures portraying tricycles. Suspicious.

"Umm...your hair looks inviting!" the secretary blurted. "...If it's not to rude to ask...my lunch break is in a few minutes."

Why was the secretary being so coquettish? Why were there pictures of tricycles? Why was Detective Hankleston tied up in the corner? Wait a minute...
"You! You're the clown!" he said to the secretary. The detective jumped up and spit out the huge wad of gum he was chewing on.

"Wow! It took long enough!" he said. The secretary grabbed her face and ripped it off to reveal the face of a clown. She...he...it...stood in a pugnacious stance, ready to attack. Suddenly the printer came alive and ate everyone.