Unfortunate Events

Please do not take offense to any of the material presented in this article it is meant purely for humor of the readers. Please enjoy.
"Micheleeeee! Where the hell is my sandwich woman?" Michele walked into the living room hands planted firmly on her hips. When suddenly Kanye West bursts in through the roof "Yo, imma let ya finish, but I gotta say that yo next door neighbor, Christine, make way better sandwiches and imma let ya finish, but I'm just gonna put that out there y’all." Michele looked back her redneck husband as he tried to make a getaway towards the back door. "Now don’t you go thinking you can just use that kind sir as a distraction." She turned to Kanye and smiles sweetly as Kanye leans over to pimp slap her. Suddenly Chris brown bursts into the room using his knowledge of beating helpless women. "Yo Kanye that aint how you do it bro." As Chris grasps Michele’s hands firmly and smacks himself, almost senseless.

As Kanye watches he feels the need to give the following input "Hey, imma let ya finish, Chris, but I really think y’all should be using open handed smacks and nails." Chris says "Yo, I got away with Rihanna right, dawwg?" The redneck husband enjoying all too much the abuse of his wife went to the den to fish out his old shot gun. Coming back to the scene of the two black men shoving his old gold trophies into their jackets. "Now what do ya’ll think ya doing with my stuff?" They looked as if their wasn’t huge bulks sticking through their jackets. "We aint dunn nuthin’." He smiled and cocked the shot gun once. Chris squealed like a little girl and dropped his loot. "I aint dunn shit!" Then he ran out of the trailer leaving Kanye alone with him and his wife. "So son what’ll it be?" Kanye looked straight into the stare of the old man. "I’m going to Africa, fuck this shit." He dropped the trophies and called one of his chauffeurs. He left the door slamming closed. When all was silent the he turned to his wife and growled "Well woman where the hell is that damn sandwich?".